Recently, I picked up a little book titled: Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer
Find the Good
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Author Heather Lende writes obituaries for her local newspaper, the Chilkat Valley News. She lives in Haines, Alaska (population 2000) where everyone knows almost everyone. A quick look at the Chilkat Valley News website informed me of the local high school basketball team’s successes, a recipe for corned moose meat, and the death of a local back country snowboarder. Perhaps Lende will write his obituary too. She’s been at it for almost 20 years in addition to writing pieces for NPR, the New York Times, and National Geographic Traveler to name a few. Her style is easy-going and friendly. Reading each chapter sort of feels like you’ve just sat down and caught up with a good friend, the kind of friend who is funny, wise, and gives great advice.
What I love about Find the Good is how it offers the reader small glimpses into the ordinary lives of ordinary people and shows the goodness of every day living. It’s a simple book. Most chapters are only a few pages long. But each story leaves you with a smile on your face and an appreciation for humanity. Couldn’t we all do with a little more of that these days?
Lende also shares a lot of her own life in the book. She’s the mother of five children, a wife and grandmother. She writes about her shortcomings, her disappointments, and her struggles. But as she does this, she finds the good in each experience. Lende reminds her readers that we can choose to see the good in every experience we have. If someone who writes obituaries for a living can do that, I’m thinking I can too.
So Many Characters and Stories
There are a lot of characters in Find the Good. I’m not talking about the type of book where you need to take notes to keep all the characters and their plot lines straight. The characters in Lende’s book are the people she lives near and writes about. There’s local fishermen, retirees, teachers, mothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, and Lende’s own extensive family. She takes her experiences with each of them and tells a short story that ends with some thoughtful lesson to be learned.
One of my favorite stories is about Lende’s dogs. As a dog lover myself, this one spoke to me. In the chapter titled “Be Sure Your Dog Walks You,” Lende explains how her family pet passed away after many years in their household. Her kids were grown and, at first, she thought she wouldn’t get another dog. It was time to enjoy some freedom from dog care and dog hair. But she found herself at a greater loss than expected. Of the old dog she says “He also loved me unconditionally.” And, so, a new puppy arrived on a plane from Anchorage. This new dog required regular walks. And Lende has made new “dog mom” friends who walk with her every day.
More Bits of Wisdom
Each of the chapters in Find the Good have fun titles that hint at what lesson is coming. These include “Put on a Costume Now and Then” which includes a story about when the author was complimented on her Halloween costume. The problem was she wasn’t wearing one. And “Don’t Judge a Lady by Her Hat” whose main character is an elderly woman with a red batting helmet and a dog named Sissy who attends church with Lende. Yes, the dog attends church. You read that right.
My favorite chapter might just be “Pretty Good is Better Than Perfect.” In this chapter, she talks about living life with “a little more grace and a lot more compromise.” Lende writes of how she spent much of her life trying to be perfect: a perfect mom, a perfect wife, a perfect friend. And how life has shown her that there is much more to living than having a clean house. She once wrote an obituary where the highest praise anyone could give the person was “she kept her stove clean.” I’m pretty sure that will never be written about me. But I did recognize myself when Lende wrote “Sometimes it’s easier to scrub the shower stall than to have a heart-to-heart with your teenage daughter…” Could it be that our pursuit of perfection is really a means of avoiding the messiness that is life?
If you’d like to learn or read more about Heather Lende, check out her blog or pick up one of her books. She’s also the author of If You Lived Here, I’d Know Your Name: News from Small-Town Alaska
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